Relationship difficulties
Relationships have a way of touching the deepest parts of us. They can also be where old wounds are felt most strongly.
Relationships can be one of the places we feel safest.
They can also be one of the places we feel most vulnerable.
You might find yourself worrying that people will leave, needing constant reassurance, or feeling anxious when someone seems distant. Perhaps you struggle to trust people, even when they've given you no reason not to. You may find yourself avoiding closeness altogether because letting someone in feels too risky.
Sometimes the pattern is different.
You might lose yourself in relationships. Put other people's needs before your own. Find it difficult to say no. Stay quiet to avoid conflict. Or find yourself taking responsibility for everyone else's feelings while ignoring your own.
Many people come to therapy believing they're simply bad at relationships. Usually, it's more complicated than that.
Our earliest relationships often shape the ones that follow.
The way we relate to other people begins long before our first adult relationship.
Our earliest experiences teach us what to expect from other people. Whether it's safe to ask for help. Whether our feelings matter. Whether closeness feels comforting or frightening. Whether love feels consistent or unpredictable.
Those experiences often shape the ways we protect ourselves as adults. Some people learn to keep everyone happy. Some become fiercely independent.
Some struggle to trust. Some become afraid of being abandoned.
These aren't personality flaws.
They're ways of coping that often made sense at the time.
The difficulty is that the strategies which once protected us can begin to get in the way of the relationships we want today.
Therapy isn't about teaching you how to become a different person. It's about becoming curious about the patterns that keep repeating, understanding where they came from, and discovering new ways of relating to yourself and to other people. As that understanding grows, many people find that relationships begin to feel less confusing and more secure.
Therapists who work with relationship difficulties
Myra Kokke
Works with adults (18+)
James Sloane
Works with adults (18+)
Nichola Magner
Works with adults (18+)